Steve the Owl's Blog

Hi, everyone! I hope today finds you doing well. Recently, I read the book Bright-Sided: How Positive Thinking is Undermining America by Barbara Ehrenreich. The basic premise of her book (written after a bout with breast cancer when she described the way that she felt that her cancer was turned juvenile with the insistence on use of the color pink and that the instance on the survivor narrative removed all others) is that an emphasis on focusing purely on positive thinking and a literal understanding of the Law of Attraction means that people ignore the things that need to be fixed in society. With this in mind, I am beginning a three-part series examining the question of personal developments dark side.

A Note Before Beginning

I am not writing this note to say that I have completely given up on personal development. However, I think that it is very important that those of us who believe in personal development engage those who criticize the field and, when the critics have a point, refine our understanding of personal development. While personal development is not science per se, I feel that it should be capable of withstanding scrutiny.

Personal Development or Societal Development

One of the biggest criticisms that Ehrenreich offers (that I feel has merit) is that some works of personal development completely ignore the societal issues at stake. While I do believe in Jim Rohn’s belief that we focus on the set of our sails, I do think that we should also make a continued and persistent fight for justice. I have heard some personal development writers talk about how that we can become philanthropists when we become really wealthy (and I realize that sometimes they have a point that some things take a lot of money), but the simple truth is that people in the United States who make less than $50,000 a year give a much higher percentage of their money to charity (including religious organizations) than those who make more than $100,000 a year (4% vs. 2%). Some have said that efforts at improving the lot of others is futile, so why even bother?

Perhaps the absolute worst thing of all that I read excusing selfishness in the personal development world was in The Science of Getting Rich, where Wallace Wattles says that “true philanthropy” is building one’s own wealth so that there is one less person who is poor, and that donating to the poor should not be done because it not only makes things worse for the poor person, but it makes someone think about poverty, which makes it impossible to ever get rich in the first place. (This one paragraph alone was enough to tell me to keep looking this spring when deciding on the books for my eBook Giveaway.)

A Different Presentation

I am not defending the Wattles quote (because I feel that it is indefensible), but I think that there are some things that are written in the world of personal development that have good intentions, but are worded in a way that could be harmful for others. One of those is the idea that our outer world is the reflection of our inner world. With true atrocities like the Holocaust and, as someone who lives in Pennsylvania is painfully aware of with the scandals that have been revealed over the last two months, of people abusing their position of authority to harm children in a profound way, I think it is safe to say that these things are not their fault. Instead, I think that those works that talk about the response to events in the world around us have a much better message to convey to help those who have gone through some truly horrific things.

With the Law of Attraction being used by some as a way to turn the universe into a genie or a mail-order catalog, we should look to works of personal development that teach us to live a life of generosity, discipline, hard work, and thrift. I’m not saying that we should try to avoid success, or try to improve our situation in life (my businesses, my blog, and my investments clearly demonstrate that I do not believe that), but that we should continue to examine our reading in personal development and the kind of personal development that each presents. I am going somewhere with this, and I ask of you to continue to look back and join me on this effort.

How do you test your works of personal development?

If you like what you read, please leave your comments below and share with your friends using the buttons above.

If you would like to learn more about the principles of personal development that have stood the test of time, please fill out the form for my Seven Day eBook Giveaway in the upper right-hand corner of this page.

Yesterday, while checking the headlines online, something grabbed my attention. As readers of my blog know, I spend a lot of my time and energy working on personal development. (I also have some seed ideas for what may turn into a book or a report.) So, as you can imagine, I was intrigued when I read this article based on a doctoral dissertation by a student who read over 300 personal development/self-help books and determined which ones worked, which ones didn’t, and why.

Inspiration is Not Enough

How many times have you gone to a conference and found yourself motivated to do more and to get out and really achieve, only to find yourself right back in the same place you were within a week? When I was an undergraduate and went to conferences with the campus Christian group, I remember one of the speakers warning us about what he called “mountaintop Christians.” These are people who go to conferences and get jazzed up and really excited about their faith, only to find that once they get back into the real world, and they aren’t getting their supercharged dose of inspiration, they fall back into old patterns until they go to the next conference and get charged up again. Of course, this is not something limited to people who go to Christian retreats and conferences, but something that happens to anyone in any field who tries to build based on the emotional rush of a conference or something that he/she read.

Does this mean that there is something wrong with the idea of going to a conference, or a lecture, or reading a book, and trying to learn how to improve at something? Not at all. However, the study showed where a lot of the problem comes from, and it is simply this: most of the books on personal development that don’t work don’t give someone a place to go. All they do is try to inspire people. However (again, using an analogy from something I have learned from the world of faith), someone with a lot of zeal and just a little knowledge is very dangerous. One very famous work on personal development that has sold a lot of units (which will remain anonymous) actually gets to a point where it refuses to tell its audience what the next step is after building one’s thoughts other than to say “trust that the Universe will give you an answer.” Instead, a very good book on personal development (Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill) reminds us that we can start right now, even without a plan, but going by what we can do, and building from there, our plan will become more and more apparent. Which one do you think will have more success, the one who sits around waiting for a plan, or the one who works diligently and remains open to a plan for bigger and better things?

Remember, there is a lot that can be gained from the world of inspiration and personal development, but you must make a plan of action to move forward in order to build to the kind of life you want, and that these things take time. Like Jeff Olson reminds us in The Slight Edge (another great book), the success and failure curve are very close for quite some time, but eventually the small things that we do every day add up and create so much momentum that the success and failure curve both take off and vary drastically from on another once they do.

Which personal development books have you read that give you a great call to action and help you get your plan ready?

If you like what you read, please write your comment below and share with your friends using the buttons above.

One of the most interesting books I’ve read recently was The Twelve Pillars by Jim Rohn and Chris Widener. At one point in the book, the mysterious Charlie gives the lead character a list of twenty books to read that he thinks are vital for someone to try to develop his/her life. While there were some books on the list that I’ve never read, and some that seemed quite odd to me to list. (For example, I don’t know why people who realize the importance of sharing and generosity would include anything by Ayn Rand, the high priestess of the cult of selfishness.) So, this inspired me to write my own list. Some of the books on my list will match the ones from Charlie’s list, but others will be different. Feel free to add to the conversation. Maybe we can talk about the books on our lists together.

1. The Bible
Obviously, if you are of a different faith, you will have a different book here, but I think that it is important to have a spiritual foundation in life.
2. The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson
A good book for getting started in the world of personal development, because it shows the importance of the small things that make a big difference.
3. The Four Seasons of Life by Jim Rohn
This book will help you identify the types of effort that are necessary in each of these seasons of life.
4. Five Success Principles by Jim Rohn
Shows five basic principles in a sequence that will help one find his/her success.
5. Use Both Sides of Your Brain by Tony Buzan
6. Speed Reading by Tony Buzan
Both books help you with the ability to learn, and the speed reading will help you cover more ground while you are reading.
7. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
Shows the importance of principles rather than quick schemes to achieve success.
8. The Richest Man in Babylon by George Clason
Uses parables set in ancient Babylon to show principles of wealth creation and management.
9. Smart Couples Finish Rich by David Bach
10. The Automatic Millionaire by David Bach
These books will give you specifics about building wealth.
11. Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
I have seen this book appear over and over on other lists, and I can see the reason for its appeal. I think that some people have messed up some of the priorities by taking a metaphor as something literal and skipping some of the steps, but it is still an important and good read.
12. The Joy Diet by Martha Beck
A great book that shows ways to get more out of life.
13. The Not-So Big Life by Sarah Susanka
This book will help you figure out why your goals are what they are.
14. It’s Not Over Until You Win by Les Brown
This book has a lot of great ideas for how to find success when it seems that life is throwing everything in the way of it.
15. The Twelve Pillars by Jim Rohn and Chris Widener
The book that inspired this list, and shows a great way to learn the principles that will help build the life you want.
16. The Other 8 Hours by Robert Pagliarini
I cannot say enough nice things about this book. It talks about time management, wealth building, and many other things without seeming scattershot.
17. Multiple Streams of Internet Income by Robert Allen
The book title says it all.
18. As a Man Thinketh by James Allen
You can read it in less than an hour, and it will give you a lot to think about.
19. The Four Seasons of Marriage by Gary Chapman
20. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman
What good is success if there is no one to share it with? This book will help you nurture relationships with the one you love.

As someone who studies religion, one of the things that I get confronted with the most is the exhortation to be “open minded.” Often, this seems to come from people who have a different theological perspective. However, I think that digging into this question, we have to ask ourselves what “open minded” really means.

Cross It Out of Your Dictionary?

One of the best political thrillers I have seen was a movie that came out ten years ago called The Contender. In this movie, Joan Allen plays a Congresswoman who is nominated by the President (played by Jeff Bridges) to fill the vacancy of the recently-deceased Vice President. (The last time the United States had no Vice President was the time between the Kennedy assassination in November 1963 and Johnson’s inauguration in 1965. After that, the 25th Amendment gave the President the right to name a Vice President if either the VP moved up to President or something happened to the Vice President. This is how Gerald Ford became President in 1974.) The choice is a highly contentious one, in no small part because this would be the first woman Vice President, thus giving a legacy to the term-limited President, and because she was initially elected to Congress as a Republican but switched parties later in her career.

Anyway, with that background, a young Democratic Congressman from Rhode Island (played by Christian Slater) asks the Republican Chairman of the committee assigned to running the hearings (played by Gary Oldman) for a spot on the committee. However, he does not tell Oldman’s character about his party affiliation. When he is confronted later, he promises to be objective. Then, the chairman tells him one of the most interesting ideas in the movie:

“Do me a favor. Do you have a dictionary? Okay, when you go home tonight, I want you to take a black magic marker, and cross out the definition for ‘objectivity.’ People elected you for your experience, your philosophies, your world view. In other words, they elected you for your subjectivity.”

What is the Balance?

This is something that I have always found interesting. While it is obvious that this is an attempt to get the young Congressman to vote against the nominee, there is a definite truth in this statement. One of the biggest fallacies of the Enlightenment period was the notion of human beings, and the entire universe for that matter, as a largely blank slate. We each have passions and interests that all play a role in who we are. There are also questions of things that we inherited from our parents. I know that I have a tendency to stare out into space when my mind is relatively unoccupied, and this is something that my dad does as well. I also inherited his height and my mom’s small bone structure. These things mean that there are certain things in life that I would not be very well suited for.

However, there are some areas where we do control our own destiny, so to speak. We can either nurture or suppress our interests and our talents. We can be people who seek truth and development, or we can be people who think that we already know the answer. What is interesting to me is all of the times that the person who claims to be “open minded” really isn’t open minded at all. I think that there are definitely ways to test out the question of what being open minded really is. How often does one’s opinions change when new facts are brought into light? Does that person automatically reject ideas that disagree with their own, or have they given a detailed explanation of why they agree or disagree that shows that they have wrestled with these ideas? There are some things that people will hold on to until the end, and that’s okay. (For me, there are some things as a matter of faith that I consider non-negotiable, and I also feel that way about my commitment to my wife.) There’s nothing wrong with admitting that, but I think that there definitely times when truly being open minded is also a benefit, so I guess I’m not quite ready to get my magic marker out just yet.

Have you ever known people who seem to have energy that you can only dream of? Have you ever wondered why some people are able to be much more productive than others? One of the best books that I have read that sums up everything about the need to make the best use of our time in order to live the life we want is The Other 8 Hours: Maximize your Free Time to Create new Wealth & Purpose by Robert Pagliarini.

How Much Time Do You Need?

A lot of people in the world of network marketing keep their day jobs. This is something that Pagliarini advocates in his book. In this case, you may be arguing that you are totally exhausted by your day job and you can really do is just unwind at the end of the day and relax. If you are exactly where you want to be, this is just fine. However, if you want something else, the time do that is the time between work and sleep. Pagliarini argues that devoting more time to things that build us up is the only way to have the life we want.

There are several ideas that I think are very interesting in the book to get people started. One of them is something that he calls “boosting,” or finding a job with little-to-no effort required where someone is present. For college students, sitting at the sign-in desk at the dorms or a computer center is an option. For others, working as a clerk at a low-traffic hotel or at a fitness center where you can use the time sitting there to read. This is something that I think is valuable for someone who wants to get involved in business, but is looking for seed money.

A Great Time-Management Tip

My favorite piece of advice in this book is the concept of “bunching.” Bunching is a smarter way to multitask. The concept of bunching is different because it divides activities into two groups: head activities and body activities. The idea is to do one while you are doing the other whenever possible. One example is listening to something educational while driving. When doing this, it gives you more time to spend with your loved ones, and isn’t that what personal development and time management are all about?

Are You a Cre8or?

The most important elements of building a personal income through business is to make money doing what you love. Creating something of value or doing something you have always wanted to do can only be done in your other eight hours. The book has an inventory of some of the key moments in life, and the question of whether these occurred at work, school, or in the other eight hours. I think that most of us will admit that it is the other eight hours. If you have always wanted to learn a foreign language, this is how you do it. If you have wanted to learn a new skill, this is how. If you wanted to write a book, this is how. Robert Pagiarini has a term for people like this: Cre8ors. So, are you a Cre8or?